June 16, 2010

Cycling is for Dorks

A co worker with a good sense of humor recently forwarded this to me in an email and highlighted number 30 for me:

Thought Provoking Statements
>       1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
>      clear your computer history if you die.
>       2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
>      realize you're wrong.
>       3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
>      was younger.
>       4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
>       5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
>       6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
>       7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm
>      pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
>       8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
>      the Person died.
>       9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
>       10. Bad decisions make good stories.
>       11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
>      work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything
>      productive for the rest of the day.
>       12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
>      don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
>       13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it
>      asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper
>      that I swear I did not make any changes to.
>       14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
>      - ever.
>       15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
>      Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
>      goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the
>      phone and run away?
>       16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
>      seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
>       17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know
>      not to answer when they call.
>       18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
>       19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
>      Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
>       21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger
>      and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I
>      first saw it.
>       22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
>      than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
>       23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying
>      to finish a text.
>      24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
>      hunger.
>       25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
>      nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they
>      said?
>       26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team
>      up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
>      brothers and sisters!
>       27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
>      dirty, and you can wear them forever.
>       28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every
>      year?
>       29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you
>      are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
>       30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
>      drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate
>      cyclists.
>       31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and
>      still not know what time it is.
>       32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their
>      car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail
>      on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the
>      snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed,
>      first time, every time!
>       33. Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get up
>      and open the door.

I wish I could disagree with the sentiment of number 30, but I can't.  I have recently come to realize that I am a self loathing bike commuter.  As a group, cyclists are unpredictable and a challenge to walk around or drive near.  I try to be predictable, but I'm sure there are times that I frustrate drivers.  And I think I'm ok with that.

I participated in Bike to Work Week, which means I went to the Monday morning dorkfest--I mean kickoff breakfast.

From Drop Box
I wanted to participate in bike to work week last year, but was working in Seattle.  My hotel was close enough to work that I walked.  This year I was working the night shift so I had just gotten finished with an 11 hour overnight shift when I was trying to shove undercooked pancakes in my mouth at the breakfast.  Overall I biked nearly every day during my week of night shifts.  And it was actually rather pleasant.

As to the dorkitude of cyclists in general, why is it that we have to claim recumbent riders and weirdos like this:

From Drop Box
This was at Artfest in Couer d'Alene park in Brown's Addition a few weekends ago.  There were a pair of these guys. I suppose technically speaking there are two wheels on this contraption, so it is indeed a bicycle.  But c'mon, what's the point of this?

Incidentally at the same event I spotted this guy, whom I had seen a year or two ago at our local Hastings media store.  This time there wasn't as much bird excrement on his shirt.  It seemed a little more normal to have the bird perched there since we were outdoors instead of in a store.

From Drop Box

Come to think of it, bird fanciers are even dorkier than cyclists.  I guess that makes me feel better.

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